Sexual problems: How to solve them

Talking openly and honestly with your partner can improve both your emotional and sexual intimacy.

Many women have experienced sexual problems. Whether emotional or physical, they can be distressing, causing tension between you and your partner. The good news is that most sexual problems can be resolved.

If you watch television and movies regularly, you'd think everyone is having great sex. Sex is everywhere and everyone's doing it. The reality is, however, that many women are dealing with problems every day that make intimacy challenging.

If being intimate with your partner is less satisfying than it used to be, you're not alone. It is believed that four out of 10 women have at least one sexual difficulty at some point in their lives. Some sexual problems develop gradually over time, while others occur suddenly. Read on for the main facts about sexual problems…

Q What is a "sexual problem?"
A A sexual problem is defined as a difficulty during any stage of sex that prevents you from enjoying the experience. The four stages of the sexual act are: desire, arousal, orgasm and resolution. The most common sexual problem among women is low desire (also known as lack of sex drive). See also our article on sexual desire.

Q Do doctors know what causes sexual problems?
A There are several reasons that may explain a problem:

• Physical factors can disrupt your sex life, including urinary or bowel difficulties, pelvic surgery, fatigue, cancer, other pain problems, and use of certain drugs, such as nicotine, alcohol, narcotics and some medications used to treat high blood pressure and depression.
• A drop in the levels of the hormones estrogen and testosterone, which can cause changes in a woman's body such as vaginal dryness.
• Emotional factors such as marital or relationship problems and lack of trust and open communication with your partner. Also, personal psychological issues such as depression, sexual fears or guilt, or past sexual trauma can interfere.
• Medical problems such as heart disease, diabetes and chronic illness can change your desire or interest in a sexual relationship.

Q Is there anything I can do for treatment?
A There are many ways to treat what's causing difficulty, but it depends on the problem. Talk with your doctor about your concerns, and he or she can give you a complete medical evaluation as the first step towards treating your problem.

Your doctor can discuss whether drugs or medications are the reason for your problem or can work to address any medical cause that is treatable. For instance, for women who complain of painful sex due to vaginal dryness, there are many lubricating gels or hormone creams that can help. If the problem is an emotional one, most often all that is needed is open, honest communication with one's partner or with a doctor to address any sexual anxieties, fears or inhibitions.

Q What's the best way to tell my partner about my problem?
A Talking openly and honestly with your partner can improve both your emotional and sexual intimacy. Some couples talk about their sex lives easily, while others never talk about it. Start by sharing with your partner what you like and don't like about your sex life. But try not to talk about it during the act. Wait until you are out of the bedroom, maybe over dinner or while you're relaxing in front of the television. Share your difficulties and concerns and maybe the two of you can work on a solution together. Also, ask your doctor for suggestions on a good book that can help. The important thing is to put your mind at ease and talk.